Televisions

I saw a bumper sticker on a hippie car in Portland that said, “Destroy Your TV.” Evidently, this hippie doesn’t care about the toxic compounds in the TV that will be sent to the landfill, the toxics which will leach into the groundwater, which will be consumed by unsuspecting citizens of Portland or some other town some other day, long off into the future. Nope, this hippie doesn’t care about those things.

Coffee Blues

Hippies love coffee and consume outrageous amounts of it. I don’t know why, maybe it gives them a clearer head when shopping for hookahs and psychedelic Led Zeppelin posters. At any rate, consuming coffee is bad for the environment, a fact that most hippies are unaware of. You see, coffee is a diuretic, which means it makes you have to pee. And when you do pee after drinking coffee, you expel caffeine in your urine. That caffeine eventually makes its way into local streams, where fish live. The fish “breathe” that same caffeine when they take water in through their gills. Caffeine does strange things to fish, most of which are bad. Like causing sterility, hormonal changes and such. No wonder fish are dying out?! If only the hippies cared…