Addicted to Oil

Hippies the world over are crying foul over the oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico. The pollution will destroy wildlife for decades in the region, they say. The spill–the worst environmental disaster in the nation’s history–offers a clear glimpse of the dangers we face due to our addiction to oil, they say. It is, after all, a complete vindication of what the hippies have said for decades…oil is dirty! Extracting it is harmful to the environment! It can’t be done “in an environmentally responsible way” as oil execs have long argued! Well, guess what? Those hippies will need to make some serious changes if the oil stops flowing. Let’s have a look at some of the products that hippies use and/or consume that are derived from oil:

· Plastic water pipes.

· Bean bags.

· Lava lamps.

· CDs.

· iPods and iPhones.

· Snowboards and skis.

· Ziplock baggies (for their weed).

· Airplane fuel (for their trips abroad to “find themselves”).

· The plastic containers that hold hummus, baba ganoush, tabouli, tofu, and just about every other food stuff that hippies eat.

· Nalgene water bottles.

· Backpacks.

· Flip flops.

· Birkenstocks.

· Condoms.

· Tatoo ink.

The list goes on and on. If hippies really want to wean the country off oil, they should put their money where their mouth is and give all this shit up!

Black Lights and Lava Lamps

Aside from a water pipe, there are two accessories that you will find in just about every hippie’s home: a lava lamp and a black light. Both originated back in the 60’s, and were developed for one specific purpose: to “trip out on” while under the influence of mind-altering substances. The lava lamp makes little blobs of goo float up and down through a flask of oil situated over a light bulb. The black light imparts a purplish haze throughout the room that allows certain colors to become enhanced, while other colors remain dark. Both are considered groovy when high. There are lots of posters depicting hippie-era musical acts – like Led Zeppelin, Pink Floyd, the Doors, the Beatles, and so on – specifically designed to be viewed under a black light. Combined with the oddly-shaped goo blobs in the lava lamp, the black light provides stoned out hippies with hours of entertainment, as they stare intently at the posters and goo blobs, finding “hidden” shapes and messages planted there by hippies of old who, most certainly, were high when they created them. Of course, when the dope wears off, the messages and shapes are gone, leading the hippies to wonder, Were they ever really there? What a conundrum!