Public Parks

Hippies love public parks. Parks give hippies a place to congregate, hang out, smoke dope and do tai chi. They also provide “green space” which hippies claim is very important to have in urban areas, for reasons I don’t quite understand. The thing is, the vast majority of public park land is covered in grass. And that grass must be mowed. And the mowers are almost universally gas-powered mowers. Which means that public parks are a significant source of greenhouse gas emissions, which lead to global warming, which leads to rising sea levels, which means, again, the deaths of millions in Bangladesh. Why won’t the hippies just lay off Bangladesh?!