Alternative Medicine

Hippies love alternative medicine, a field that includes such practices as acupuncture, reflexology, and any number of herbal fasting routines that supposedly rid the body of evil toxins that build up in our systems and cause all kinds of havoc. Indeed, herbs are held in high esteem in the common hippie household, and are used to treat almost any physical or mental ailment. However, many of the herbal treatments hippies apply cause rather inopportune side effects. For example, a common herbal fasting routine, aimed at cleansing the gall bladder, causes extreme diarrhea for days on end. Extreme, in this instance, means rice-water stools every fifteen minutes. Really. Every fifteen minutes for three or four days, these herbal-fasting hippies are gushing brown water out of their asses, all in the hopes of cleansing their gall bladders, an organ of which most hippies don’t even really know the functions. They just read about it in some hippie journal, about so and so who had taken the herbal treatment and found whats-its and whoz-ats in their poop. Of course, whats-its and whoz-ats are “bad” so the treatment must work, right? Well, guess what? No one ever really figured out what those whats-its and whoz-ats are, let alone if they are “bad”, so as far as anyone can tell, hippies are giving themselves the trots for no apparent reason. And possibly removing beneficial bits and pieces out of their bodies in the process. Silly hippies…